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[Drift, in a way, has been avoiding a lot of people. Or subjects of conversation at least. Megatron is kind of one and the same, a walking topic of very loaded conversation....

...that is waiting outside the door to Drift's quarters.

He stops abruptly, a little surprised the ex-warlord would seek him out. Just when he realizes he should probably play it cool is likely when he's spotted. Too late to turn back now. So approach he does, making what he hopes is a gallant effort at casual conversation.]

Didn't expect to see you here...

[No, that doesn't sound like a canned line at all!]

[ of course he spots Drift. that's the entire point. Megatron is more than all right with standing there and waiting anyway. even if the other took off, he'd have to come back at some point. ]

Is that really what you want to go with?

[ he's so nice, giving Drift a chance to recover. ]

[Drift would never. He might be...evading certain awkward things but he's not an outright coward. It's why he just sighs and gathers himself for another attempt just as he reaches the door.]

We've a lot to catch up on. [Also a canned line, but about 100% more appropriate. ] Won't you come in?

If you'd like.

[ believe it or not, that's not what he's here for. yes, there's... probably a lot to talk about. Megatron is curious</> about Drift's decisions, but he's not rude enough to demand answers. ]

I was only here to ask one question.

A question you needed to ask in person.

[Sorry Megatron, you can only be so casual too. And whatever it is that brings the big mech here isn't a conversation Drift's going to have out in the hall.

He palms the door open and gestures the other inside.]

It's as good a time as any.

It's the sort that needs to be done in person.

[ because the whole 'are you avoiding me' thing doesn't really work well over text or some kind of message. it really is one that has to, ironically, be done in person. ]

But it would bring up other things, so I half concede to your point.

[ even if Drift hadn't said his point directly. either way, Megatron ducks inside. cue sort of standing half awkwardly. ]

[He gives Megatron a look, the kind that says 'Do you realize who bad that sounds?' but it's mostly teasing. He knows by now the ex-warlord has little intention of harming him. ~~Frustrated throttling not withstanding though~~.]

Half is fair. [He enters and lets the door slide shut, doing his best to keep his cool even though he can think of a dozen different reasons why Megatron could be here. Some good, some bad, some particularly awful.] Make yourself comfortable. As, uh, much as that's possible.

[It's not like these quarters were made for their kind. And Drift doesn't exactly have much in the way of creature comforts. Or any possessions at all really.]

[ don't give him that look, Drift. for a moment, Megatron doesn't look amused by it. of course that's betrayed the second he reaches over to flick Drift in the back of the helm. teasing indeed. ]

I haven't been comfortable since arrival.

[ he's far too uneasy and suspicious for it. besides that, Megatron is easily the largest one of the ship. everything is a little too small and it's overly cramped. but Megatron is going to do his best right now.

still looks award and stiff. ]

Now. Why have you been avoiding me?

[ not beating around the bush. Drift deserves more than that. ]

[Hey, someone has to inject some levity here and Megatron sure wasn't going to be the first one. Besides, that's Drift's job, to be cavalier about things, (especially the awkward or painful). That's why there's an exaggerated complaint at the flick to the back of his helm and a corresponding pout to go with it.]

OW. ... Unnecessary. [No totally necessary, but if he conceded that wouldn't further the joke.

But oh hey, speaking of awkward.]

Errr... [shifty eyes] Was it that obvious?

It seems somewhat appropriate.

[ anyway. awkward. yes. just a little. Megatron never really had a good opportunity to speak to Drift in length about a great many of things. but it's not going to do either one of them any good to just play at nice and then get to the hard things. ]

I've known you for a while. How could it not be obvious?

[ his position shifts and well. some of the weight he's been carrying shows. there's hardly a reason to hide it to someone who also knows the burden well. ]

While I can't blame you for your avoidance, making amends is hard to accomplish that way.

Duly noted. No cheeky looks.

[He rubs the back of his helm where Megatron flicked him but it's really a distraction tactic, something do rather than the standard of awkwardly trying not to fidget his hands.]

You have. [An acknowledgement, and not without its warmth either. Drift sees the shift of the weight, figuratively and literally. It makes him wonder about details that led to where the ex-warlord is now.]

I know. [Somewhat sheepishly.] It's...been a lot to take in. You, and Rodimus and Wing...

[He's feared the moment he might be forced to choose between them for whatever reason. And because it's Drift, of course he thinks it's his amends that Megatron speaks of. ]

You know. Even though I left, I never stopped being thankful for you taking me in. In the beginning.

[ Ah Rodimus. mentioning his name makes Megatron frown somewhat. ]

Quite frankly, I think that Optimus allowing my presence on the ship is a partial punishment within itself. I might have been impressed with him back in the day, but he has much to learn before he can truly lead anyone. [ scoffs, but a slow grin slowly makes its way onto his face. ] Of course he's so much fun to rile up.

[ but this isn't about Rodimus. not at all. Megatron doesn't understand the importance of Wing mostly because he hadn't been there to witness everything. he only has a bit of experience with the both of them together. still, the ex-warlord knows how Drift is and how the guy thinks so little of himself and puts others on pedestals they don't necessarily belong on. thus he can't comment.

instead he nods and listens to Drift continue, frowning a little more. ]

Why?

[ no one should be thanking him for anything at this juncture. ]

Ah-ha. I had wondered about all of that. How the whole co-captain thing happened in the first place. [Though Megatron's comments sound like they could apply to either Rodimus or Optimus and though Drift could be critical of both bot's leadership qualities, both had also shown faith in him when others hadn't. In that light it's easy to forgive mistakes and flaws. It's what he wants for himself, after all.

And Megatron will understand Wing's significance in due time. With the jet actually here it's a happy subject again, not just the pain of his past he wants to leave behind.

But Drift blinks at that last, as if it should be obvious not matter how long ago it was.]

Because I would have stayed a tool of the system otherwise, playing bodyguard to the corrupt elite. Doing their dirty work in the way only those in the underworld could. The only thing I was fighting back then was the urge to return to addiction again. [And the self loathing that went with it. His only rescue was the violence, purging his hate onto others who might not have been deserving.]

I would have died down there eventually and you know it, probably killed by rioters, political rivalries, Autobot Security. Or Decepticon a kill squad while on a bodyguard job I didn't really want. It was a step up from being homeless and creditless but I was still just as powerless. You changed that.

[So don't give him any scrap about never having done any good Megatron. He knows better.]

It's a fake rank that Optimus made to make Rodimus feel better.

[ in other words, Rodimus had been a brat and one of the only ways Optimus could think to calm the other down had been all these concessions... like the rank thing. while they both have equal power, Megatron has been the one running the show the last few months while Rodimus moped. ]

Drift... [ he's pinching at his nasal ridge now. yes, Megatron might have changed things for a few people. but Megatron is exasperated to hear it. people shouldn't be thankful of what he had turned them into, even if it's only briefly for Drift. ] That doesn't excuse everything else I have done or created. You don't thank someone that made you into a murderer.

Fake? Well if you share joint power it's real enough right? [But seriously, Optimus. What EVEN? He's still missing much of the bigger picture here: why, or rather how, Megatron was put on the Lost Light to begin with.] Did it work?

[Rodimus is not one who is easily mollified. Not when it comes to a dig at his ego of that size.

And if Megatron's pinching is nasal ridge then Drift is crossing his arms stubbornly.] I never said it did.

They're separate events. I can still be grateful for the first. And if you've forgotten--[And hey wow this takes a lot to say and Megatron is the only one he'd ever be so open about it with.]--I was a murderer before you met me. The only thing that changed was scale.

[He's striding forward now, taking a seat next to the larger mech, his voice softening.] I don't want to argue that though. My point is, don't forsake the good you have done in the shadow of the bad. It's not meaningless. [Certainly not to him.] It's how you remember you can do good.

Theoretically, if Rodimus was pulling his weight. Six months of pouting is excessive, but really what should I expect from a petulant adventure-seeker whose only goal in life is to inflate his ego more?

[ and apparently Drift is going to be stubborn on this issue. the other sits by him and Megatron can only vent a sigh. that's really not the point. in the end, he hadn't liberated anyone. he had just enslaved them to the Decepticon cause. now they can't even free themselves from that mindset. ]

But have I, Drift? Have I really done anything worthwhile? One could make the argument that if I didn't start the war, then you wouldn't have needed a lifestyle change. I helped to create those situations.

[ this is what bothers him. this is what he struggles with when trying to recharge now. ]

Whatever good there was, doesn't outweigh what I have taken and destroyed.

Six months? [Oh boy.] If only I'd... [~~been there~~] And that's not his only goal in life Megatron. No more than yours is the ruthlessly conquering the galaxy. Honestly...

[UGH they are so alike in some ways it's almost painful.]

I needed a lifestyle change thanks to Autobot Security. Or whoever left me in the gutters in the first place. Or whoever you could blame the energon shortage on. But like I said, I don't want to argue.

[He sighs.]

So essentially, I say, take it for what it's worth. You reply with, it's worth nothing. Well, I'm glad to be alive today, for whatever that is worth. I have a list of people I'm grateful to for that and no amount of arguing will remove your name from the list.

[So, tough slag Megatron. He can't do anything about any of the other stuff. He can't absolve you of your crimes. But he can forgive you of any wrongs against his person. So let him do it!

And yeah sorry this moment has been All About Drift but whatever its easier to start small okay?]

[ electing to stop speaking of Rodimus... And FOCUS on this conversation. the real one here. ]

I didn't say that it was worthless. What I'm saying is that I'm having a hard time seeing the good in saving someone's life only to ensnare them in a war - making them naught more than a pawn to further my own agenda. Perhaps if I can one day forgive myself, then it could be different.

[ a hand falls onto Drift's shoulder. they have... gotten away from their original topic, haven't they? ]

Which... You haven't really answered my question in the first place.

[Drift is fine with that topic change because it is awkward as hell. He's pretty sure someday he'll have to stop avoiding the problem and step between the two captains to mediate, but he's hoping they figure out their scrap before that becomes necessary.]

Heh, you sound a little like Wing. [WHO KNEW] You didn't rob me of choice though Megatron, I did make a different one eventually. The time it took me to get there was just as much my fault as yours, if not more. [He's no innocent, Megatron can't take full blame for all that.] And maybe...we could work on that together?

[Because Drift is still not entirely forgiving of himself.]

Pardon, but, which question?

[ they aren't going to. so sorry for your future, Drift. ]

I can't imagine your blinding hatred towards Turmoil helped matters. [ he shouldn't be, but there's a little smirk despite himself. ] Though you have been working on this for a long time even though you've likely saved as many as you've put down...

[ so what hope does MEGATRON ever have of accomplishing such a thing. ]

And it doesn't surprise me that you've gotten on this tangent in the least. My question, dear Drift, is back to why you were avoiding me.

[Way to make him do all the hard work, sheez. Aren't we supposed to be making peace? AHEM.]

I'm..._{not sure it helped anything really}. [He kind of mutters that, in that way you know you should probably feel bad about a thing but kind of don't.] Though I never would have landed on Theophany otherwise...

As many as? How do you tell when you've lost count? [Or never counted in the first place. Deadlock was never about fame or bragging rights. Not unless it got him higher in the ranks where he could be more effective.] But you can't think like that. It's gets hopeless otherwise and nothing you ever do feels like it's enough. Keep your optics forward.

[But ajksjdkjhg THIS AGAIN]

Tangent? [...] Oh.

[It would help if he had a better grasp on this himself. It's like a thing just on the other side of his foggy glass of self-awareness.] I had to get my head on straight. Seeing you again, processing everything that must have happened, and... [How easily he'd fallen into step when he'd first met the ex-warlord. In hindsight, it'd been startling.] ...wondering where my loyalties lie, or... even what shape they should be in.

[He's thinking brands, of course. Or the chosen lack thereof.]

Shouldn't you take your own advice?

[ because there's some evidence of Drift not quite keeping his optics forward. motivation through guilt - not that Megatron can't relate to some degree - and seeking the approval of others. that's something the ex-warlord can't relate to. but thankfully, that's all he says and doesn't extrapolate on that point. it's a pretty rhetorical question.

instead he leans back, arms crossed. thinking. listening. getting someone's head on straight is understandable. much has happened and Megatron hasn't quite explanaed as much as he should. so he's asking quite a bit for people to swallow... but then there's Wing and Rodimus for Drift to have to sort out as well.

Megatron doesn't envy that. ]

And what have you gathered?

I do. .... Try. [Yep he's been caught, rhetoric or otherwise. This is one of those easier said than done scenarios.] I know it isn't always easy. Nothing wrong with the occasional reminder, right?

[He'll remind you if you remind him.]

I'm not sure where I belong now. After...leaving the Lost Light, I had a lot of time to think, to process what was ahead of me. A lot of that was coming to terms with being a neutral. That's not so bad, right? Wing is neutral, after all. Except he has a whole knighthood back home. I was... [A shrug that seems to flex painful muscles.] ....alone.

[He wants to belong again, to something. He doesn't know if he's welcome back in the Autobots but it stings, just a little, to think they allow Prowl and Whirl and even Megatron (no offense of course) to wear the brand, yet he's stripped of his. And maybe that's part of his driving need to bring together all the mechs here, to create something, like a family, or a brotherhood, to which he can belong rather than feel pulled in multiple directions.]

Drift, I think you needn't worry so much about if you have done enough. You've built yourself a reputation amongst the Autobots - Prime himself selected you to go with him to Vector Sigma. There are very few that would associate your name with the acts that Deadlock committed. In that regard, you've redefined yourself and have earned your atonement that you've so desperately fought for.

[ that's answering the 'how do you know' question. to Megatron, it doesn't seem that Drift has really looked back at all - only his insecurities are holding him back. things that are, really, already washed clean.

Megatron settles a hand on Drift's shoulder. looks like some encouragement is needed here. ]

Do you really think, now that the air has been cleared, that you wouldn't be welcome back on the ship? It's time for you to decide what path to follow - be it with a faction or otherwise - without lingering guilt and the desire for atonement or trying to appease your peers. Decide what you want instead of settling and giving up.

[ then he pulls said hand back and settles once more into his position. ]

I do understand, to a degree. When I went ahead and officially disassembled the Decepticons, I broke all contact. Thus I find myself on a ship with a chance of being attacked at any given moment. Not that I would blame anyone for it at any rate.

[A gusty laugh: he'd always wondered about that, if Optimus had selected him for some greater reason or if it was just to pacify Rodimus. The rest though, is words he's yearned to hear, to believe, for a long while now. It's maybe not the same as hearing it from someone who'd been an Autobot from the start, but it warms his spark none the less.]

I like to think that's the case...

[It's hard to believe when he keeps making new mistakes though. The hand on his shoulder makes him look up though, more open and unguarded than usual.]

I...honestly don't know. The, uh, animosity was pretty thick when I was leaving the ship. [An unconscious rub at one finial, cold memory where the pipe thrown by Atomizer struck him.] The crew might know the truth now but the truth is that I was still involved. The blame is just shared now.

[And perhaps not equally? That doesn't make it fair, but then he's the ex-Decepticon, not Rodimus or Prowl. Drift is quiet for a long time though, mulling over Megatron's words. It's a lot to take in, to be faced with. Finally he ex-vents deeply.]

I want to be where I'm needed. Where I can make a difference. The quest. Reforming Cybertron. Restoring good quality of life to all our people. Getting out of this freaky station and back home...

[That doesn't really answer the faction question though, does it?]

Broke all contact? [An understandable necessity but also harsh reality.] I wish I could be there...

They've kept Rodimus, haven't they? He's consistent in his mistakes and said mistakes have had a cost. You may have been involved, Drift, but perhaps you should give them a change before writing them off. [ a brief pause. ] An ironic statement coming from me, I know.

[ he continues to listen, only chuckling at the mention of the station. ]

I think that we would all like to return to where we belong. Honestly? I think for you that it would be returning to the ship. Honestly, I could use an ally, or at least someone that understands the darkness of the Decepticon taint. However, that is just my thoughts on the matter. You must do what you feel is right.

[ Megatron's jaw becomes tight within the next minute. breaking all contact had been too hard. too extreme, though he knows it had been necessary. ]

Yes, but-- [He clamps mouth shut around the kneejerk response. Rodimus might have been a favorite to some once upon a time, but what Drift knows of the crisis vote shines a different light on that.] I...suppose that's true. I can't exactly be a proponent of second chances if I myself don't give them...

[Those words though, they're touching and doubly so. He'd hoped that he'd be invited back, to know that he was welcome at least, and that those words would come from Rodimus. But hearing Megatron asking for him, not the first but the second time in his life, it sparks a light in the chaos of his current life's path. Not a beacon, but offering to be one.]

I have no other home than the Lost Light. Returning there--when able--makes sense. And I would stand by you. Because I know how hard the path you walk can be. And I know what a difference even one supporter can make.

But...

[Drift's face tightens with his own remembered pain, old and never healed, ready to be torn open again.]

Wing.

He dies if he goes back, Megatron. He dies because of me.

[He owes too great a debt to abandon the jet yet again.]

Exactly. It's good to see you exercising some common sense where your well being is concerned.

[ even though it's said like that, Megatron does care. it's not just about Drift either, but himself. if Drift can somehow find it within himself to forgive himself and rise to new challenges, then there's hope for an old, worn out ex-warlord, right? ]

Sometimes all we need is the right person to be in our lives at the right time. What I said before would also stand: I wouldn't make you choose one person over the other.

[ but then there's that pinched expression. Megatron doesn't quite know what to make of it until Drift finishes. then everything falls into place. he understands why Drift feels so much weight upon his shoulders and so easily left the Decepticons. understands a great deal more about this... relationship between the two.

Megatron stands, but it's not for too long. he moves in front of Drift and then falls to one knee. what he has to say isn't easy and he doesn't want to make the next statement with an air of indifference. Megatron isn't doing this to be cold or callous, but rather out of concern for one's mental and emotional health. ]

Being here, with him, will not give you back the time that has been stolen. It will not change anything, Drift. What is done, is done. While I am not saying not to treasure this time, understand what you are chasing is, in the end, a ghost. If you are constantly looking behind you, you will never see the path before you with clarity.

[ in other words... if you do this, Drift. it's going to be hard to let go. while that's all well and fine, and ultimately Drift's choice, he needs to be aware what holding on will do to him. ]

Eh-heh. [A self-conscious little laugh. Because YEP, that hits nearer to the mark than he really wants to admit.]

Yeah. ... Yeah. [His smile gains a little confidence, reassured.] I wouldn't want to choose. I really just want everyone to get along.

[He'd had that, tentatively, on the Lost Light. Drift's never truly had a true place he could call home, a group of bots that was inclusive and accepting enough to call family. He'd thought he was on the way to that on the Lost Light before everything went bad. He realizes the mistake, the way dark secrets poison things. Not again. Here, here it could be different. He clings to that with a fierce determination that no one really knows of.

Drift blinks questioningly as Megatron maneuvers around, his spark growing somehow tight and bright at the same time. His plating slowly goes cold as the big mech speaks, drawing in tight the way his arms do around himself. The topic strikes his core, a wound never healed. He's teetering on the edge of too much emotion when one word breaks him, cold like the hand of death that it emulates. His helm shakes, rejecting the notion just as he knows the truth in it, a hand rising to stifle the choked noise that emerges from his vocalizer. Cyan optics squeeze shut under the bowed helm, taut red pauldrons giving a shudder of too-intense emotion.

They may be words Drift needs to hear and accept, but they're nothing he wants to think about right now.

It takes him a moment before he can respond, and it's a hoarse staticky whisper when it finally emerges.]

I just want us to have a future....

[If he could conjure the future instead of just foresee it, this he would make unerringly true.]

Edited 2014-09-27 06:06 (UTC)

[ while he had been expecting some sort of retaliation, verbal or potentially physical, the amount of raw emotion Drift displays touches his spark. he knows Drift is in touch with his feelings, but this? this is... well Megatron isn't quite sure how to handle it. Megatron says nothing though, allowing for Drift to work through the words that he has delivered.

he's not sure if it would be welcome, but a hand does land on Drift's shoulder. again, he doesn't say these things to purposefully hurt Drift or to sway his choices. the former warlord simply wants the other to be informed. whatever choice he makes... well Megatron might not support it, but he will respect it, even if he disagrees. ]

I know. [ and that's what gets him too. it does. ] It's not fair to be given something and know you have a hard choice to make.

[The emotions are always there, under the surface. Drift hides more pain than most would guess under that upbeat attitude. It's why he couldn't answer when Rewind had asked him if he was happy. Bold-faced lies are not really a thing he does.

So it's not shocking that Megatron's hit a nerve, one he didn't know was there. Both Drift and Wing had soothed those old wounds--ones inflicted on them both by fate and by each other--by saying they had a second chance now, things between them could finally be the way they should have been before. The life together they never had a chance to have, and whatever it had the potential to become.

Realizing that could all be swept away if they succeed here is like condemning Wing to death all over again.]

I won't. I won't accept it. He can come back with us. I don't see why not.

[Is it a stubborn, childish petulance that says that or a tenacious spirit forged from desperate hope? Both really, and the expression on Drift's face when he looks up at Megatron shows it.]

Can he?

[ no, this is a serious question. Megatron doesn't much care if Drift can manage it or not. people rarely stay dead where they are from. he winces at that thought, though. Megatron had told Bee that before...

bah. not thinking about that. instead the ex-Con thinks about the here and now. ]

Has he died yet, Drift? If not, how do you know that pulling him from his rightful place in time won't make time and space unstable? What if it creates an alternate timeline in which you never convert?

[ see? there could be some serious repercussions over this. ]

And, finally, have you discussed this in length with him?

[Drift is quiet for a moment, words smothered under the weight of that question. And when they come out, they're clipped and heavy.]

I don't know. But. I intend to ask. Someone will know.

[Those people in the cortex, they could help him right?]

I don't know that either, we haven't...talked about it in detail. [And who would want to? It's another thing Drift's been avoiding.

He also doesn't want to think about the myriad of ways the battle at Crystal City could have ended. The only one he's ever wished for was the one where Wing doesn't have to die for Drift's mistake. It feels like any step he makes, any option he chooses, is flawed. If there's one thing in his misguided history he could redeem it is that; and it's cruel, SO CRUEL, to be being given this chance and make it so perilous. The frustration grows until he can't contain it anymore, shoving Megatron's arm away and stabbing a finger towards his chest and that Autobrand.]

I'm not just going to give up! And walk away! What would you do, huh?! What would you do if it was Bee??

Hopefully.

[ now Megatron does realize how hard it must be to talk about these things. he's not sure because, well, he's never had to do it before, now has he? so he can't say that he entirely relates to what Drift is going through or the pain of losing someone and seeing them once again.

the ex-warlord isn't offended by the shove. he doesn't even wince or lash out when Drift does. that's what this is, really. it's taking out that frustration on the first person in sight. ]

I'd talk to him about it with all of the cards on the table. Then I would do my best to respect the decision that was made.

[It's an entirely new thing for Drift too, a situation unlike any other he's been in before. Facing it period is hard enough, beyond even talking about it.

It's rattled something lose as his hopes and dreams try to co-exist with this reality Megatron reminds him of, memories of the pain of losing Wing the first time staining his thoughts with a dark dread. He's not entirely thinking when he speaks, not about the implications of his word choice of who he asking this of. His fists ball in frustration, shrill voice crackling with intensity, the pain too clear on his face.]

Yes but did you come to love him after he was gone!!?

[ the pain is clear. Megatron doesn't deny that Drift is hurt by the loss of Wing. it's surprising even to him that he had been so upset at seeing Bumblebee go down...

but their situations are different.

his face becomes hard. it's the sort of look that's meant to make people loathe and despise him. defense mechanism, really. somewhat. ]

What is it that you love, Drift? The person you don't really know or a memory?

[Drift can't tell if he's hit a nerve or not; though that's not even his intent. Megatron certainly has though.

He flinches back as if struck, hands clenching into fists to still their quivering, and finally he looks away, face hard but frozen in lines of pain and confusion. He'd never called it that before, love, feeling somehow foolish for being so attached to a mech that was gone. But Wing isn't gone, Wing's here and can't he...can't he at least chase those feelings? Discover what they might become?

In the end he can't answer, processor too clouded with emotion.]

I do not say these things to hurt you, Drift. [ it's true anyway. ] I say them because I don't believe anyone else will. Following your spark isn't necessarily wrong, but without properly thinking about it and weighing your options...

[ he shakes his head. at least he's TRYING to be the sort of person that he should have been all along. ]

I don't want to see you make a mistake that may break you. That's all.

[Megatron might think the words he chooses are comforting. And under any other circumstances they would be. Or even will be when Drift calms down.

Which is, uh, not right now. Sorry, Megatron.]

A MISTAKE!!? [He shoots upward, standing in a rush of anger. Anger at himself more than anything, but Megatron is the instigator so...] That's nothing compared to the other mistakes I've made! What about the people I've broken?! What about breaking Wing? Or betraying Crystal City!? [oops sorry yelling now] I can't change any of that but I can do my damned BEST to make sure this time he's been given makes up for what's been stolen from him!!

[AW FRAG THIS HURTS.]

That's the problem, isn't it? You never know what your decisions will bring. No one knows this better than Optimus Prime. How could he have known that releasing a wrongly arrested miner would have such far reaching consequences? Said miner believed that he was doing the right thing - fixing the wrongs of this world when really he simply made them worse.

[ his voice isn't rising to match Drift's of course. Megatron isn't even moving to stand. if that means his position is below the other, then so be it. ]

But this need to make amends through your yet to be made choices with Wing belittles the sacrifice he made for you. It's not living as well belittles your feelings towards him.

[Okay being paralleled with Optimus Prime is weird. Also this arrest business is new news, or at least it's making very old rumors make sense now. At anyrate it trips him up, vents heaving as he stands there with a pained frown, the realization of all he's said--things he's rarely ever expressed to anyone--out in the open air where they sting with new pain.

His helm bows.] But I knew. That was Lockdown's deal. Give them the Circle, get your freedom.

[He's not even talking directly to Megatron now, just narrating, even if he hears those words down to his very spark.

Drift sighs, running a hand over his face.]

He saved my life. Then he died for me. How do I not feel like I owe him?

[Because he honestly does not know.]

The type of person that does that, Drift, normally doesn't require anything in return - in life or death. Typically, they want what is best for you.

[ at least that's how it usually goes in his experience. it might not be the case for everyone, but the good ones? usually. this is something that Drift, once again, really needs to talk to Wing himself over. Megatron already suspects that what he says will ring true, but the fact that these two haven't spoken?

it's avoidance. ]

[Drift really wants to keep arguing. Because there's an angry energy there he needs to expunge. But the words ring too true, meshing with what even Wing himself has said. And maybe someday, starting here, Drift will realize that all this is him punishing himself, because the other debts have been paid or will never come due.

He sits again, heavily, the fight draining out of him with a whine of his engine. The white helm falls into his hands, weary under the weight of his life, his past. It's one of those moments when he could really use a hug, but he folds into himself instead, because it's been so rare that there was ever someone to ask such a thing of, it's not even a thing he thinks of.]

[ yes, that's exactly it. this really is all Drift pushing himself and Megatron knows that it's not healthy for the other either. it's funny how there are some things he wants to rectify. things he wants to try to fix and make better. or maybe it's just that he sees potential and wishes for it to blossom.

whatever the case, there's a hand once more falling on Drift's shoulder. Megatron isn't a touchy feely sort of guy. not really. but he knows when comfort is needed and this is something he can do. ]

[It's not all that strange. Afterall, Drift wants similar things. There's just few opportunities to him to rectify anything. He can't bring people back to life, but he can make things better for someone who has limited time.

The hand on the shoulder does help. Just a small symbol that no, for once, he's not alone. It takes a moment for Drift to recover his composure, but then he looks, hands open.]

So what then? I can't just turn away. I won't.

[Drift's loyalty, as always, is fierce.]

[ Megatron doesn't say a word, of course. this is Drift's moment to reign it in and work through things. the ex warlord isn't here to judge. just guide. ]

No one said you had to turn away, Drift. Just be aware.

[ closed ]

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hnnnng yes one of my favorite icons

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f-feeeeeelings

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oops there it goes~

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