knowhen | [Closed] There's a room where the light won't find you

Entry tags:

megatron (transformers idw)

[Closed] There's a room where the light won't find you

Who: Optimus and Megatron
What: Optimus wants to talk about Megatron's poetry and his source of inspiration.
When: After Rodimus's post
Where: Optimus's quarters

This was a level of awkwardness even Optimus could find...well, awkward. Hearing Rodimus read poetry, poetry specifically relaetd to him over the feed had definitely thrown him for a loop, and it went without saying that he had to discuss it with the ex-Warlord. Because...you know, he's curious about that stuff. Four million years, and he had no idea that the miner had so much interest in him, even back then. War did that too, of course. They were sworn enemies until the end. But back then...things were more gray.

And that's what he wants to know.

He's sitting on his bed, arms on his knees as his fingertips touch each other, eyes practically boring holes into the floor as he waits for the resounding knock. In some ways, it felt like the longest wait of his life, and that's saying a lot. He doesn't even know what he wants to lead with--just that it's something that has to be done. Megatron's going to be stubborn about it, too, and that just makes this talk all the more awkward.

Engine whirring slightly, his eyes cast up to the door once more, as if feeling that presence getting closer.

Strange, how that instinct kicks in.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hearing his old words being spoke for all to hear was not anything Megatron thought would happen. It wasn't so much that he cared about public perception - all right so he did a little - but mostly about the content. Megatron was someone that had been mocked throughout time, but he didn't appreciate his words being pulled and pried apart and judged. He knew he wasn't the best - Impactor often reminded him about his poetic skills, but some things weren't meant for people to hear. Some things were ways of expressing himself during a time he didn't know how else to. It was personal.

Of course they would read off that stuff about Prime - back when Megtraon was enamored. Obsessed, really. The things he would say about Orion Pax likely made many around him uncomfortable, not that Megatron really concerned himself with those things. Orion Pax was an important figure in his life. Megatron truly did think that Pax becoming Optimus was fate. They were destined for great things, no doubt about that.

Now here he was, knocking on Prime's door. He really didn't feel like explaining himself. Then again, rare were the times that he talked in length to Optimus Prime and even rarer that he expressed himself fully.

"Knock knock."

Optimus may have answered it a little too quickly, pulling the door open. Blue eyes meeting red. Of course, he has to crane his neck up slightly--Megatron was huge, before...stepping to the side to allow him in. There wasn't really a need for words, and Optimus wasn't entirely eloquent with them anyway. Maybe one liners during battle, or spouting the truth when it was needed. But...small talk? Nah.

Orion Pax never was good at that either.

"Make yourself comfortable, I don't want you to feel like it's an interrogation." Because it honestly wasn't. The more Optimus thought about it, the more it became clear. "I only want to talk about our past."

The poetry was merely the ice breaker.

He shuts the door, making sure it's locked before striding over, to sit across from his bed. "Have...you been writing as of late? Since your departure?"

No, there really wasn't a need for words of greetings as Megatron slid into the room. Optimus was a bot of action - always has been. Perhaps that was something that Megatron admired at one point. Orion Pax was diligent and fierce in his duty.

"You're not quite letting me off the hook with this either," he reminded Prime, finding a seat.

Optimus wanted to talk about their past? Truly? Megatron wasn't sure there was much to say on the subject. The point was, the former warlord knew quite a bit about Orion Pax. Optimus Prime likely didn't know that much about him in return. Hardly anyone did.

"Have I been? Of course I have, Optimus. I find it's a good way to sort myself out."

"I notice you didn't exactly refuse," Optimus also reminded, eyes never leaving the bot across from him.

But right, they were here to talk about the poetry, and by extension, their past selves. His eyes flick up, and although his tone is even, as calm as it's always been...he seems a bit...awkward.

"May I see the datapad?"

It's not a request, or a demand. But...an ask.

He wanted to see the poem, first off. To see the words with his own eyes.

"You gave me your leader tone," Megatron scoffed.

The former warlord looked at Optimus, as if judging what sort of intent the other had, wanting to see the old data pad. It wasn't quite a demand, no, but it was the sort of thing that Megatron wouldn't really be able to refuse. With an exasperated sigh, he pulled out the datapad. Again, Megatron wasn't ashamed of the words that he wrote. That wasn't something he would ever regret. Words held power.

"Very well..." he finally said, handing it over. "Do try not to break it. It's old."

An eye perks at that. A bit amused that Megatron was putting up with what could only be considered a 'nag'. He says nothing, though, instead reaching for that datapad, holding it with the utmost care.

With a few touches of his finger, he gets to the poem, glossing over it for a minute.

"It seems...we had very mutual feelings at that point in time."

Athough Orion didn't necessarily keep up with everything Megatron was doing, he certainly--

"I often asked about you, you know."

Mutual feelings? Of respect and awe, no doubt. Megatron was dubious, if only because super cop barely even remembered the first time that he had ACTUALLY came into contact with Megatron. Either way, though Orion Pax didn't keep up with his comings and goings - a difficult task really - Megatron certainly tracked nearly everything that Pax did.

"I don't imagine you found out much after I was shipped off world."

It was after that riot that Megatron essentially disappeared. He began to get a name for himself in that illegal fighting ring. That was the time that his writings started to disappear, his followers already gained and training underway.

"On the other hand, I was always aware of you."

Orion had not always known Megatron's physical location, but he'd asked many about him, if he was safe from any harm from the Senate. Hearing he was shipped to an off-world mine had brought peace of mind, at the very least.

It was more Megatron's writings that impacted him. Which...brings them to their talk now. Because they still did.

"I didn't. Then again, much escalated soon after."

Like the entire senate getting assassinated, Sentinel Prime's death, Megatron literally disappearing off the map...and that's not even what Orion had to deal with himself.

"Why?"

That's what could sum up this discussion very easily. Blue eyes flash to Megatron's, looking up from the datapad a moment.

"What did you find special in me as opposed to others? I had a reputation, yes, but so did many."

"It did, yes. The riot had, I admit, put me at a great disadvantage. It wasn't planned," he replied, fingers tapping his chin. "I was utterly lost, for a time."

Then came everything he did to set up the war. Of course he wasn't alone. More people behind the scenes - ones that Megatron didn't really know about - pushed his cause along. In hindsight, it was easy to tell that everything that happened was bound to occur. Megatron's agenda, though it was his own, was used by others. That thought disturbed him. Then again, he went further than anticipated, didn't he?

His gaze shifted from the patch of the wall he was staring at, lost in thought, back to Prime. Why, indeed.

"You didn't try to silence me," he said, slowly. "You may not have agreed with me, but you didn't say to stop just because my words threatened everything you stood for... "

That was the start of it, anyway.

"It escalated much faster than you predicted, didn't it. A simple outlash at your oppressors and suddenly..."

History was made. His eyes occasionally flick back to the data pad, tapping it gently as he searches. To be honest, it was only a matter of time before Megatron, or someone who would have become Megatron was going to rise up.

In the end, it was inevitable.

...

But he looks up at him, when he says that last part. "Your passion, and your ability to see things beyond the social classes. It was rare. What started out as curiosity became an enlightenment.

You shouldn't have been punished for being the voice of reason."

Granted it evolved into something he ultimately did not agree with, but Megatron's original intentions were good.

"Here it is."

He finally finds whatever he was looking for, turning it to the other mech. "This."

And it's the very same passage he'd read. The one he'd handed back to him in the Rodion Station.

"Not quite, Optimus," Megatron frowned. "The riot in the mines... They killed first. I retaliated by throwing my tool at the Senator."

He shifted a bit in his seat. Megatron realized this wasn't quite the story that Orion Pax likely knew. No one did, really. Megatron tried to uphold a certain image throughout the years. Now? Well what did it matter now? Why shouldn't Optimus know the fill story?

"The riot started because of me, Optimus. I was attacked and in my anger and desperation to live I took my first life. And I was horrified for it."

It wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't supposed to be at that mine. There weren't many things that Megatron would outright admit that he regretted, but that death. That death wasn't one he wanted on his hands. That was why, when he took back the datapad, he wasn't so sure that, in the end, Optimus did the right thing.

"It was one of things that made me believe that what I wrote about here wasn't a possibility."

Were Optimus a slightly less eloquent mech, he would have said the Senator deserved it. Instead, he'll keep that in his thoughts as he listened. His eyes widen slightly, as if...well, as if hearing history for the first time. The way Megatron's body language showed in the conversation, he wasn't trying to martyr himself--this was the truth.

As surprising as it is to accept.

He listens, mostly. Anything he could reply with would either be null and void or downplaying the situation. This was Megatron's time to tell the story. His head looks down, just letting his voice do the work.

That is, until that last part.

"It's not. But--," he looks up, blue optics meeting red again. "But it inspires us to be better."

His hands interlace with each other, almost humbly.

"And that in itself is why I valued it."

"Inspires us to be better?" he scoffed. "No, I don't see how it does. The only person that ever read it was you."

Impactor as well, of course. It didn't have the same effect on him as it did Orion Pax, though.

"A question, Optimus."

"...Hypothetically."

It would have, if people had accepted it as he did.

But he goes rigid, as if preparing himself.

"You may."

This was a question he was struggling with. Every time he tried to rest, he would be kept up because of this. It was personal, extremely so. Yet he could not think of a better person, a more worthy person, to ask. So he waved the datapad about before holding it in his hands securely once more.

"How do I find this person again?"

How did he become someone that could appropriately inspire people to look beyond all that was?

His eyes widen at the question. It was very personal, indeed, and something he never expected to hear from Megatron's mouth. Not directed at him, anyway.

He hesitates, not because of lack of wanting to answer, but he wants to say the right thing.

"We could find him together, if you'd allow it." His hand gestures to the datapad, though.

"You have an important resource at your disposal. Read your works as if you've only just laid eyes on them. See the words Megatron has written as if you are not him."

...

"If it can inspire me, it can inspire you."

Megatron observed Optimus for a moment. Then he started to chuckle and shake his head. "Here I made fun of you for your identity crisis and now here I am dealing with one of my own."

Of course they were different. Their reasons for struggling to find themselves and who they were are completely different. Optimus dealt with his legacy as a Prime while Megatron was struggling with what he had become. He never wanted to be the monster that people said he was...

"Honestly, I am glad that Drift found it. Granted, I would have preferred for them to not see the light of day like that, though."

So Megatron did have the decency to be somewhat embarrassed.

"Another thing we both have in common, despite one very blatant difference."

Really, it was astounding how similar they were. How only they could understand certain parts about the other, because only they had been down that road.

Things only they would ever know.

"I'm sure any other poem would have been less...awkward."

They were things that Megatron didn't really want to share with anyone else either. He didn't see anyone else as being worthy of it. Honestly, Optimus and Megatron were far too involved with each other for anyone to really penetrate their world. No one else would understand, not really. People misinterpreted their relationship all of the time.

"More than likely. Then again, Impactor never liked what I had to write," he replied with a more casual shrug. "I'm not sure he understood anything other than violence even from the start."

It was a strange sort of respect, actually. Optimus, for someone who'd seen Megatron as a rival, an ultimate enemy for so long, had a lot of trust in the bot. Perhaps it was because they knew so much about each other. Knew just how far they'd go. And when you knew that...you could do things like this.

Sit down and talk.

Megatron wasn't a savage, he was intelligent, strong-willed, and passionate. His path just went askew.

"There's a reason he took a job with the Wreckers. People like that are easy to tell what line of work they're destined for."

"I always wondered if he was born like that or if the years of drinking away his life combined with the bar fights did it," he commented.

It was ironic, really, that Megatron didn't want to think that they were born killers. He found it hard to believe that they were violent to start with and would prefer to continue to ponder on the society that made them that way. Perhaps it did have to deal with the spark and it was simply Megatron that was in the minority until much later. Who knew.

"From what I understand, even the Wreckers couldn't keep him satiated."

"Perhaps a mixture of the two. He certainly was a fighter to the core of his being, despite personality."

He didn't want to think that way about his men either. It made peace seem like a farther off goal. And for someone who sought for peace for their whole race, he liked to at least try to be optimistic.

"Mmmn. Ends justified the means for him. I can't say I agreed with the brutality."

"True... Though that was always his first reaction too."

It wasn't something that he understood, honestly. Or, rather, it wasn't something that he initially understood. So much changed and so quickly. That was all over now. It was a part of Megatron's past. Though talking about this now made it seem like another lifetime. Perhaps it was...

"You never seemed to mind it when it was just between us."

"I did what I had to do--I took no enjoyment out of it."

His head lowers, in a way that almost suggests shame. He had to sanction a lot of questionable things during the war. It wasn't heroic like people liked to paint a picture of.

"You know 'just between us' is a separate case altogether."

"Despite my best efforts too," he chuckled. It was a complicated thing. As much as Megatron wanted to see Prime fall to his level, there was a part of him that liked the rivalry. He enjoyed the challenge. Optimus Prime wouldn't be Optimus Prime if he was like the rest.

Just between them... Everything was different when it was withing their world. Their context. Megatron handed back the data pad to Prime. If he wanted to peruse the contents, then he was free to do so. Perhaps he'd find something he liked that wasn't, well, about himself.

"We're always the exception to each other."

Optimus gently takes it, giving a soft hum in amusement at Megatron's answer. This would ordinarily not be so casual between two worst enemies. But much like everything else in Optimus's life, things were slightly more complicated. Four million years could really do that to a relationship.

One could even call it friendship between enemies.

Something Optimus could hope for.

He scans the datapad, going past the poetry and right into the writing, eyes glistening as he finds it. His favourite works by the bot, honestly.

"And something only we will understand."

It was more like respect between enemies. Fascination. Obsession. Whatever anyone wanted to paint it as, the reality was that one usually was not mentioned without the other within the context of war. Some of the best battles that would forever grace the history books would be their feats. In that respect, Megatron didn't care if he was painted a villain, as long as he was also credited to finding the Knights and aiding Cybertron as needed.

What Optimus hopes for, there was now a chance for. Without the war and the hatred getting in the way, perhaps something more would come from this.

"Would you really want anyone else to?"

"...Mmmn."

That makes him think. Sure, there were plenty that would want to know everything that was between them. To much of both their armies, their rivalry was an enigma. They chalked it up to 'they hate each other, and fight each other', and left it at that.

It was nothing of the sort.

"No. Some things are best kept to us. Things no one could possibly understand."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Closed] There's a room where the light won't find you

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject